I know how to keep my husband turned on

Dear Pastor,

I am 41 years old and my husband is 50. He likes to see me dressed up when he gets home from work.

Before I got married, my mother taught my sister and I to always prepare ourselves for our husbands, and to make sure that we shower and wear the sexiest underwear. My mother always had mother/daughter discussions with us. She said that sometimes she would wear nothing at all underneath her nightgown.

I once asked my mother what would happen if she became ill in the night and we had to rush her to the hospital. She said, "You girls know where my panties are kept." We had a big laugh about that. My mother told us not to look like grannies because our husbands won't like that. I have come to realise that that is true. So, sometimes I just wear one of my husband's T-shirts and I sit and eat with him when he gets home.

I am in charge of the ladies' department at my church and there are many single women in the group who are eager to hear what to do to keep men happy. I tell them that they don't need to be worried about that if they are not married. But when they get married, they should remember that just because a man is married, does not mean he doesn't see other women, so they should keep their bodies in shape by exercising and eating right. When they are married, they should try to please their men in every way. My husband does not complain about our love life. I try to satisfy him in every way. We have two children and we show affection to each other in front of the children, because they need to learn that their parents love each other. But when we are in bed, we lock our bedroom door.

Pastor, there are times when I walk around my house nude. But I don't do so if my children are present. A married woman in my group told me that it is wrong to be nude in my house. I told her that my husband likes what he sees. I do not shave myself; that is the job I have given to my husband. It stimulates me when he shaves me. He does some little naughty things when he shaves me, once every two weeks. What I am trying to say is that women who love their relationships and want to keep their men should practise to do the extra things to keep their marriage intact. These things would prevent their men from going astray.

I know that you as a counsellor have told women to read books, but Christian women will not find everything in books, so you should just speak calmly about these things. My husband gives me the best massages and sometimes when he does, I fall asleep soon after. Please withhold my initials.

Initial Withheld,

Dear Writer,

I am glad that you attend an assembly where women can openly speak to each other about family life.

In some churches, to speak about romance, lovemaking and sex would be considered nasty. I say to people all the time that God created sex, and the marriage union is blessed. Sex is not only for procreation, but also for pleasure. Your husband and you have a very good relationship. The union is strong. Also, you are in a position within your church where you can teach other women how to enhance, or spice up, their relationship. I trust your husband and you will have many years together. I hope that what you have written today will help young women.

Pastor