My mother always brings her ‘clients’ home

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 and I am living with my mother and grandmother. My grandmother is in her 70s, and I have twin sisters who are 14.

We live in a two-bedroom house. I have grown up knowing that my mother is a prostitute. She has not done very well. My grandmother doesn't say much to her about the way she lives. Both my mother and grandmother have their own room. My mother's room is divided into two, by sheets. Sometimes I sleep with my grandmother, but sometimes I have to sleep with my sisters. When my mother's boyfriends come to the house, I can hear when these men are having sex with her. Some of the men don't care. They come at different hours of the night; sometimes two or three of them, or even more.

My mother can use the computer and she has got jobs, but she does not stay in one job for long. I know my father. He does not give me money often, but when I am in need, I go to his office and he gives me money. My grandmother said that my mother does not know who is the father of my twin sisters. My grandmother also told me that when my mother was pregnant with my sisters, she told her she would have to leave, but when she became aware that my mother was carrying twins, she allowed her to stay.

When I was 16 years old, my mother and a neighbour had a fuss. I was hearing them cursing each other and the neighbour told my mother that she was no good and that she knows that her husband has gone to bed with her because he confessed. She said her husband told her that my mother has a very large vagina, and she is 'stretched out'. I was so ashamed. I told my grandmother, who said that all the men in the neighbourhood have bad things to say about my mother.

My father said that he has asked one of his sisters to help me to live in Canada; they are working on it. I am worried about my sisters. I would not want them to follow in my mother's footsteps. My mother is a bad word queen. She would curse if I try to reason with her. What do you think I should do?

F.N.

Dear F.N.,

Your mother needs to get a job. I have counselled prostitutes and they have told me that it is very hard work.

Some have said that they would love to stop, but although the work is hard, they earn much more than doing an 8-to-4 job, and they work in their own time. Some who beat the street at nights give the impression to their children that they are with companies, but they are on 'night duties'.

I remember a young lady said that one night she was on her way home as a passenger in a car, and a woman signalled the driver to stop. When the driver stopped and the woman ran to the car, she discovered that it was her mother who was dressed up as a prostitute. It was then that she realised that that is what her mother was doing to earn her daily bread. She was deeply embarrassed as a daughter.

On the Dear Pastor Show, a Jamaican man told me that he is a pimp and he has women working with him every night. He earns a lot of money from these women. Your mother allows the men to come to your grandmother's house; there is where she entertains them. But she doesn't have any respect for her children or for her mother. She has made your grandmother's house a whorehouse, so I hope that your aunt will be able to get you to Canada, and that other relatives may rescue your sisters also.

Pastor