I got freaky with the youth pastor

Dear Pastor,

I am only 21 years old, but I am married. I am living in America. My father is a pastor.

He has always believed that his children should get married at an early age. He has two girls and one boy, who is the youngest. My parents talk about sex freely to us, while looking at movies, or at the table.

I am his first child and my dad would say to me, "Janet (not my real name), I don't want any man to get you pregnant and bring shame on me because I have to be on the pulpit every Sunday morning."

My parents made sex something to look forward to, so when I was 15, the youth pastor of the church and I fell in love. We had more than ample time to have sex. We fooled around when I was 15 and a half. He was 18 and he used to drive his father's car and pick me up for youth meetings, and then he would take me home.

One weekend we went to get pizza and we parked and started to make out. He showed me how to go down on him, and within a couple of minutes, he popped off in my mouth. I drank it. I was excited. I asked him if that would get me pregnant and he said no. He told me he was sorry for what happened, and that it would not happen again. That is what he said, but it happened again, and this time he penetrated me and I lost my virginity. I knew that he was going to be my husband. I never said a word to my sister or to anybody; we kept it as a secret.

When I was 18, I told my father that I wanted to get married and this guy also told his parents the same thing. We got married right at the church in a small ceremony. Now I have a daughter and I am hoping that I will be able to raise her in a lovely way. I love my parents but they were just a little too strict. Some people say that we got married too young, but I don't think so. I love my husband and he loves me. I am from Jamaica, but I do not live there. Keep up your good work.

L.D.

Dear L.D.,

I would encourage you to make sure that you go to college and educate yourself because you are young and you are going to need a good education - or a good career - so that you will be able to support yourself.

Your parents openly spoke to you and your siblings about sex and married life. You may have to assist them in the years to come. I wish you and your husband well. Take good care of yourself and may God bless you.

Pastor