Babyfather wanted a threesome with a teenager

Dear Pastor,

I am in my mid-40s. I have one child, but her father and I broke up. My father died years ago, leaving my mother a very lovely home.

I am their only child. I really thought that my daughter's father and I would have got married, but he has roaming eyes. I once caught him kissing my co-worker, but I forgave him. My mother did not like the idea of him living with me at her house if we were not married. One day she told me that she caught him looking at her in a very suggestive manner. I told her that was in her mind, because he could not be so crazy as to want to go to bed with her. I dismissed the thought, but my mother said she didn't trust him.

We were living there for free but I paid the light bill. My mother and I shared the grocery bill. You could say that my child's father was living like a guest, but he was not because he was my man. One night while we were in bed, this man asked me whether I would agree for us to go on a weekend at a certain place and have a threesome with a girl who likes him. I asked him if he was losing his mind. He assured me that he was not, but he had got to love this girl, and he was always dreaming of having a threesome - but I have to be included.

I could not sleep for the rest of the night. I went to the sofa. He came out there and tried to persuade me to come back to bed. I did not want my mother to suspect anything, so I went into the room and I lay on the bed, but I put on very tight shorts and we slept 'head and tail'. When I got up for work, I told him to pack his belongings and leave because I do not want to associate myself with a dog. I went to work and later in the day, I called my mother and I told her I asked my child's father to leave; I also gave her the reason.

I never cheated on this man. The girl he wanted us to have a threesome with was only 18. So, you see, this man did not respect me. That was five years ago. Since we broke up, he and this girl are living together. I destroyed every picture that I have with him and me. I only kept the ones that include our daughter. When she asked why her daddy is not living with us any more, I told her that I asked him to leave because we were not getting along. My mother told me that when my daughter is 16, I should tell her why I broke up with her father.

I am sure you want to know whether I have a man in my life now, and the answer is, I do not. I have dated a number of men, but I have not slept with them. I trusted my child's father. I treated him like a king and he did not find it possible to be satisfied with me. If he had a chance, I am sure he would have had sex with my mother. I am a happy woman. I do not want any man to come into this house and into my life, because I have to protect my daughter. Keep on doing your great work. Thousands of people look to you for guidance.

F.T.

Fear F.T.,

I do not like when women call men 'dogs', but I understand why you refer to your ex in that way.

Your mother complained to you about your child's father, but you thought that she was losing her mind; clearly she was not. This man was just a bad, good-for-nothing man. He had life too easy, but I congratulate you for kicking him out of your mother's house. You did not allow your mother to do it; you took the initiative and told him to leave - argument done! He was too out of order to suggest that you engage in a threesome with a young girl. He had no respect for you, and since you chased him away, he is living with the young girl.

Your daughter doesn't have to be told now why you told her father to leave. Do not say anything to her that may cause her to hate her father. But perhaps when she is 18, you can have a woman to woman talk with her. But right now, I would not suggest that she get that type of detail.

You have been living without a man and you are endeavouring to protect your daughter; I congratulate you. Take good care. Educate your daughter, and take care of your mother.

Pastor