Lady friend pressuring me to marry her

Dear Pastor,

I have written to you before and you have given me good encouragement. I am now in my 60s and I am all alone.

I am divorced, but I have two sons and one daughter. She is 27 and is living at the house. She is a very wonderful woman. Although she is preoccupied with her work, she tries to see that I am happy. She cooks often, but I tell her she does not have to cook for me every day; I can help myself. She constantly tells me how careful I should be.

I have friends who come by to see me and we go to the countryside sometimes. I consider myself a happy man. I used to drink a lot but I have cut that out. I have a female friend who lost her husband and she comes by. I don't go to her place. My daughter does not like her. She has nothing but herself to offer to me, so occasionally, I spend time with her in bed. She has asked me if I would consider marrying her and I told her no, but we can remain good friends. When she comes by, she hardly wants to leave, but I have never allowed her to spend even one night with me.

I do not drive any more, but she does. Occasionally, I order food. I have nothing but good things to say about this woman because she has never asked me to pay any of her bills. She has her children and they support her very well. You may wonder why she asked me to marry her. She is very active in her church and she would not want her priest and other members to know that both of us are going to bed. So, for that reason, I do not attend any event at her church, neither do we go out together. I told her that, if her conscience is bothering her, she should stop coming to see me. But she was very upset when I said that to her, and even accused me of having another woman coming to the house. She said that is why I told her that she doesn't have to come back.

I made up my mind a long time ago not to get married again, and this lovely lady who has taken me to bed many times will not change my mind.

A.T.

Dear A.T.,

I am glad that your daughter is doing her very best to take care of you. If you have decided not to remarry, no one should force you to do that.

On the other hand, you ought to remember that your female friend has a conscience. She is very active in her church and she feels very guilty when she goes to bed with you. When she wants to have sex with you, you do not object; you are happy to comply with her request, so to speak.

Make sure you don't take advantage of this lady's weakness. Although your daughter doesn't like her, whenever she plans to come to the house, make sure your daughter is around and that may keep you and this woman away from your bedroom.

Pastor