Parents forced me to marry a rich man

Dear Pastor,

I am 40 years old and I am divorced. I got married 10 years ago, but I was forced into it.

I was not in love with the man I married, but my parents thought that I would be foolish to turn down his proposal. I come from a rural community and this man was well off. He went to my parents and told them that he loved me and he wanted their blessings.

My parents called me and asked me what I thought about this man. I did not know what to say, so I was silent. My father told the man that he did not have any objection if he would take care of me. I left my mother and father talking to the man and I went into my room. A few days later, my mother asked me why I did not say anything. I told her that I did not love the man and she said that love is something that grows and I will grow to love him. I did not argue with her. I went out with the man a few times and he fed me. We got married, but I never grew to love him. He was not a very handsome man and I love handsome men. To make matters worse, he started to accuse me of having another man with him, and that was something I never did. Our marriage did not work. After living with him for a short period of time, I went back to my parents.

I am much more mature and I have seen a man who I really love and who loves me. He does not have much, but we are compatible. I have already assured him that I will stay with him in sickness or in health. I am much more educated than this man, but that does not bother me; it does not bother him either. My husband has a nice house and he was always reminding me about it, and I hated that. This new man and I are going to work together and I believe that we will accomplish much.

Anonymous

Dear Writer,

Money does not necessarily make a happy marriage; nevertheless, if one does not have money, one cannot be happy in a relationship.

That may sound contradictory, but it is not. What I am trying to say is that a couple should not get married because the groom is from a wealthy family or because he has money. Nevertheless, if a man is stone broke, a woman should consider twice whether she should marry him. Even if she is working and earning a reasonable salary, she should remember that without money, the bills will not be paid. There might be utility bills, groceries must be bought, the children have to be sent to school, and the rent has to be paid.

Your mother told you that you would grow to love this man, but she was wrong. Marriage does not necessarily make people happy. But a happy couple knows that they should tie the knot because married people live longer and their children grow up to love them more when they see them living together in a marriage union.

I hope that your present gentleman and you would enjoy each other and share everything together. I wish both of you well.

Pastor