Can’t tell dad that his old friend is my lover

Dear Pastor

I am writing to you for the second time. I am not sure that you saw my first letter and just ignored what I said to you.

I am in a relationship with a man. I can describe him as an elderly man, but he is a very loving and caring man. He is more than like a father to me.

This man is my father's very good friend. We started having sex when I was 17 years old. Once, my father suspected that I was having sex with this man and he asked me about it, but I denied it.

My father had me when he was already an old man. He was not able to work and support me well. My mother left my father for a younger man. She got married and went to the United States of America and didn't pay me much attention.

After my mother left, I went to live with my father's aunt. She did not have a steady job. So this man started to give me everything that I asked him for. When my father saw me with certain things, he asked me how I got them and I told him that the man gave them to me. My father asked if I am having sex with this man and I told him no.

But I was.

This man was not the first man I had in my life. The guy who took my virginity was working on the property. He used to cut the lawn and keep the place clean. He took me to the bus stop when my father's car was not working. My father trusted him, so sometimes when the car was working, my father would give me money to go to the supermarket. This guy would take me and wait for me.

We became friends and eventually he asked me for sex. I told him no because by that time I began developing feelings for the older man. This man would give me any amount of money I needed. However, I started having sex with the younger guy. When the older man, who I am now with, became very serious with me, I told the younger man that I was afraid that my father will find out that were having a relationship.

This older man takes me anywhere I want to go. He is a pensioner, like my father, but he was working for the Government and he gets a good pension. He always gives me money.

My mother has nothing to do with me. I don't even care to see her. She has been back to Jamaica. Once she called me on the phone and told me that she had brought some things for me and I told her that I didn't want them, so she could give them away

This man I am with has children. They are much older than me. He has put my name on one of his account. When he took me to the bank, one of the tellers asked him if he was sure of what he was doing, and he cursed the teller and told him that he was out of order to ask him that question. That account has $3 million in it. He told me if anything should happen to him, I will get that money.

I love this man so such. He is a widower. His two boys do not know that he has put my name on his account. He is at the house with my father and me every day. When I get home from work, if I have to cook, I make sure that he has dinner with us.

I am the only daughter for my father, so we are very, very close.

I don't know what to do because every time I meet young men and they ask me to have relationships with them. I tell them no because I know they will not treat me as well as this man.

I have never disrespected my father by sleeping with this man in my father's house. However, this man has been asking me if I do not believe that it is time to say something to my father about our relationship. I believe that my father would look at me as a deceiver. I am asking you for your opinion.

E.T

Dear E.T.,

Let me begin by saying I am glad that your father supported you, and although your mother abandoned you, so to speak, your father was always there for you. He is a good man. You did a little fooling around with the gardener, but you were very fortunate to have a home you can call your own.

You became involved with your father's friend. Your father suspected that you and this man were having a very intimate relationship but you denied it when he asked you, so he left it alone. You were very fortunate that this man did not get you pregnant.

From the tone of your letter, this relationship has been going on for a long time. The man believes that your father should know what is happening. He may, indeed, say that you have deceived him. However, he might be very happy for you because you have fallen into the hands of a very responsible and caring man.

I suggest, therefore, that you should talk to your father about your present situation. Tell him how you feel about this man and that you have been scared to talk to him about the matter.

What do you think your father can do after hearing the truth? He is not going to tell you to break up the relationship with this man. He doesn't have a better man to give to you. So, as I see it, there is no risk in talking to your father about your love life; none whatsoever.

I want to wish you well and I will be looking forward hearing from you again on this matter.

Pastor