Friend thinks my brother got her pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 years old and my best friend is also 27. We grew up together in the same community and we attended the same prep school and the same high school.

My parents were very strict and so I was unable to go out to parties unless my two older brothers were invited. My friend got involved with one of my brothers and she started to have sex with him. She was not aware that he was telling me everything about her. When they had sex for the first time, my brother was 17 and she was 18. I asked my brother whether he enjoyed himself and he said yes. But he thought that my friend was a virgin, but she was not.

I told him that he was not speaking the truth, so I asked her if she was a virgin before having sex with my brother and she said no; she had sex with one of our neighbours. She asked him for a cell phone and he bought it for her in exchange for sex. She told me that her parents believed that it was her godfather who bought her the phone. She was having a party at her house and I was invited, and as usual, my parents said if my brothers are also invited, then I can go. My brothers set me up on a man because they knew I did not have a boyfriend. My girlfriend disappeared with my brother for hours and when I saw her, she told me her boyfriend took her to a motel.

Now this girl is pregnant and my brother says that the child is not his. She is asking me to talk to my brother. He told me that he wore a condom and it did not burst. She is asking my brother for money to do an abortion because she wants to go to college, and having a child now is going to destroy her future. My brother said that she should go and find the father of her child, because she is bad. I cannot tell her everything that my brother told me about her, but I feel very sorry for her. Her belly is not yet showing.

What should I tell her to do?

L.W.

Dear L.W.,

Encourage your friend to carry her pregnancy. Tell her that after she has given birth, she may give up the child for adoption.

But she should not consider having an abortion. Tell her to inform her parents that she is pregnant; they would be disappointed in her, but they won't kill her. After she has given birth and is able to function very well, she should go to school. You should caution your brother not to say dirty things about this girl. He might not be telling the total truth about her.

Yes, she was sexually active, but perhaps he is not telling you the truth. He should show his girl compassion and offer to give her help. If he believes that he did not impregnate this girl, after she has given birth, he should do a DNA test to prove paternity.

Your friend needs you, so don't pull away from her while she is going through this stage of life.

Pastor