TalkTherapy helping to defy deadbeat dad stereotype

Pushing back against the stereotype of absent fathers in Jamaican homes, men like Marlon Osborne are standing firm and choosing presence over abandonment.

The 39-year-old has been raising his two children on his own for more than a decade. Growing up without his father, Osborne said it was his grandparents who raised him.

"Mi father never look fi mi, but mi mek sure say mi youth dem can look pon me and say, 'Daddy did deh yah'," he said.

Osborne is part of TalkTherapy, an outreach programme led by Lexii Haynes, which is on a mission to shine the spotlight on everyday fathers holding it down in silence, battling stigma, and standing firm in their children's lives.

"What we're seeing more and more of is women walking away and leaving the men to raise the family," said Haynes.

"It's the men now calling on each other, their brethren, to say, 'Mi soon come pick up di pickney,' or 'Mi cook dinner already, come tek a plate'. That's real community fatherhood."

For Jonathan, a father of three, the road has been far from easy.

"Mi never know mi father. Never even see him. So mi decide say mi naah go be that man," he shared.

Despite facing financial struggles, including back-to-school expenses, stretched pay cheques, and rising rent, Jonathan said emotional presence is his priority.

"Mi tell dem straight: mi can't buy everything, but mi always deh yah. Dem remember time, not toys," he said.

"Mi tell all di man dem out deh, if yuh bring a youth come ya, yuh have a responsibility. No matter how tuff it get, do what yuh haffi do."

Xavian, who raised his son for a couple of years on his own after a separation, said his father did not raise him, either.

"But di village raise mi. Di big man dem inna di community used to step in, guide mi," he said. He opined that the absence of this communal spirit today is a major loss.

"Now, everybody just lock dem gate. Yuh try correct a youth an' is a war. But mi see it clear, when mi was there for mi son, just sitting an' reasoning with him, dat mek all di difference," he said.

PRESENCE OF A MAN

From doing laundry to navigating puberty talks with his daughter, Xavian stepped into roles society doesn't always expect of men. And he welcomed the challenge.

"It mek mi understand even more how much women carry. But mi proud say mi do it. Mi cook, mi wash, mi pray wid dem. God help mi do it," he said.

Similarly for Marlon, it's been second nature to take on those roles.

"Mi a di one weh put on Pampers, boil porridge, carry dem go clinic. Mi son gone to America now, but when him young, a just me and him; and same with mi daughter, too. Mi do di school pickup, help wid homework, everything. Mi nuh see challenge, mi just see duty," he declared.

TalkTherapy is taking its campaign to every parish to encourage dialogue around the role of fathers, not just as providers, but as emotional anchors.

"Oftentimes men don't talk. They bottle up so much pain, and that's where we start seeing violence, depression. But fathers who talk, who share, who stay present, they change lives," said Haynes.

"Even mothers will tell you the house feels different when a man is present - the stability, the stern voice, the balance. We need fi bring that back inna Jamaica. We need the fathers back in the house."