71-y-o man flirting with me

February 07, 2023

Dear Pastor,

I am in my mid 40s. I have three grown children but I was never married. Two of my children are married. Only one is left here in Jamaica, and he is living with me.

He often tells me that he would love to see me get married but I should not worry because he will take care of me. I know that he means well.

I met a man recently who is 71. This man loves me and behaves as if he is crazy. He calls me any time of the night and he wants to engage in long conversations. Sometimes he wakes me up and I have to remind him that I have to go to work. I told one of my daughters about these calls I am getting from this man and she said I should wise up; the man is checking to find out whether I have a man in the house with me.

The only man I have in this house is my son. But, when my daughter said that to me, I began to think that what she said made sense. I have not discussed much about this man with all my children, but I do know that at times I really feel for company. I can more than manage financially because I am working and this is a three-bedroom house. I have taken in boarders in the past and, now that the pandemic has passed, I am thinking of doing so again. I have boarded students and some have been very nice to me.

Although I would love to have a man in my house, I was not thinking about someone who is so old. Please give me your advice. Is it wrong for me to marry a man who is almost twice my age? And, would my son accept this man and respect him? How would my girls relate to him? All these questions go through my mind.


Dear G.,

You have three children but you were never married. It has always been your wish to get married. This gentleman has been showing interest in you.

But now you are questioning whether he is too old. I don't mean to imply that the question of age should not come to your mind, it is just natural that you would think about his age. I am sure that he knows that he will be taking a big risk to marry a woman who is much younger than himself.

One of my professors once responded to one of his students when the student enquired why he had married such a young woman. The professor replied by saying "Because I prefer to smell perfume than liniment." What the professor was saying is that an older woman is likely to be suffering from pains all over her body and she would have to be rubbing herself with different ointments. But a younger woman is not likely to suffer from pains and other things, and she would always be using perfume.

Let us face it, many women prefer older men because they say older men treat them better. If you are not interested in this much-older man, tell him that you are not interested in him.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories