I am pregnant and feeling suicidal

Dear Pastor,

I'm in my early 20s and I am in a relationship with a man who is in his late 40s. I'm just going through some hard times and I don't have anyone to talk to or anyone who cares about me. I'm nine weeks pregnant and I am contemplating whether I should keep it. The man who got me pregnant has not been treating me very well.

When I told him I was pregnant, he did not believe me at first. Before I got pregnant, he used to treat me well. He used to buy me gifts and anything I wanted. When we made love, he used to say he was going to get me pregnant, and now that I am pregnant, he has abandoned me. Since I have been pregnant, I have been very ill, so I have to stop working. The doctor put me on bed rest.

This man hardly visits me. I was hospitalised for a week and he only visited once. He said he has business to do, so my relatives should visit me. Whenever I call him to take me to the doctor, he says his car is in the garage. When I called to ask him to buy me some breakfast because I was too sick to cook, he said he was not at home. I am going crazy. I am feeling weak. I can't eat. I can't take the smell of anything. I don't want this baby because I am carrying it for a man who does not deserve to be a father, and who does not care for me.

At times I have suicidal thoughts, and I wish he would hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright, but he couldn't care less. Recently I went to the doctor and I called him to pick me up. He cursed me and told me that he could not come even though he lives 15 minutes from where I was. It was raining heavily. I am so emotionally drained and tired. I wish I was not pregnant so that I could move on with my life. I am also a loner. Sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to. I pray to my God every day, but God is not listening to me. I feel like giving up on life.

Every day I feel like taking my life and ending all my misery. I am not in a position to take care of a baby. I am living off my savings and they will soon run out. I have to be going to the doctor often and medical expenses are eating me out. I am tired. Please reply.

G.G.

Dear G.G.,

I regret hearing that you are suffering and have not been able to work since you became pregnant. You feel that your babyfather is punishing you.

He has not been giving you the type of support that you expected. He is behaving as if he doesn't care. You can see now that he will not be a good father for your child. So as a result of his behaviour, you have suicidal thoughts, and you are convinced that you do not want this child.

This man is crude and uncaring. You were careless because this man told you a number of times that he would love to impregnate you. From that time, you should have done your best to protect yourself from that. Evidently he is the type of man who impregnates women and leaves them to suffer.

I want to beg you to carry this pregnancy, but I want you to seriously consider giving up the child for adoption. Perhaps when the child is born, you may have a change of heart and want to keep him or her. But right now, you are not getting any moral support from this man, so you should carry the pregnancy. But please, call the adoption board and tell them you would like to give up the child. They will tell you what procedure you should take. I am suggesting that you give up the child because you said you are not in a position to take care of the baby and the father doesn't care.

Pastor